i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
