then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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