I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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