ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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