so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
