She said her name was "party"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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