we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
