so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
