Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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