So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
