he puts the penis in happiness.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
