i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
He has the fingertips of a God
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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