i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
