I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
We are all done wearing pants today
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
