no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
