I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
