He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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