He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize