we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
