I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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