i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
No subtext here. People are naked.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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