We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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