Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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