I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
