it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
