On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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