If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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