whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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