I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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