my room smells like sperm. sweet.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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