from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
