dude i'm inner monologue high
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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