yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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