You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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