apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
