I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
