If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
