you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
