I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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