Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
