need another drink. this is the easiest way
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
