Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Randomize
