Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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