if you like me you must not know who I am
how can u be prego again
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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