This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
