wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
