I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
