she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
