We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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