Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
