love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
