This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
