My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
