Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
